A Little Something to Rile You Up For The Weekend ... or, How America Is A Shitbox of Stupid, Pt. 2

This man is a leader.  And this is how he is leading.

It is not the pastor that scares me.

It's the people of the congregation saying "Amen."

Nothing irks me more than those who twist and turn the Word of God to fit whatever agenda they have at the moment.  I'm pretty sure the Bible never said anything about "Thou shalt break the wrist of thy queer son."

And in my humble opinion, it's usually the squeakiest wheel that wants to be oiled (by pretty boys).  

My Flitty-Isms and Why I Can't Really Be A Grown Up ... or, It's Okay

It's Okay ...

... to have such a hard time finding legal jobs that you look up the scholastic requirements to be a nurse.

... that I'm not totally bummed about Bar Exam Study Fest 2.0 starting soon.

... that I have bipolar grown-up fever ... sometimes I want the husband, the baby, and the house, and I just can't wait any longer to have them, and sometimes I just like laying in my underwear on the couch by myself, watching Roseanne and eating chili-cheese Fritos.  

... that I drank a Slim-Fast for breakfast, and I'm considering having dark chocolate as a snack.  Whoops.

... that I really wanna be skinny for graduation.  In nine days.

... that being skinny in nine days is going to require a vigorous ice-cube-and-air diet that I just don't have the energy for anymore.  Que sera sera.

... that I really wouldn't mind living with my parents again (hiiiiiii Mom and Daddddd).

... to still be somewhat skeptical of Obama's sudden gay support ... it IS an election year ... but he is still the first sitting President to say it.  And that's called progress.

... that I still haven't read Shades of Grey.  (Or Hunger Games.  Or Twilight.)

... to think that Eat. Pray. Love. is so wonderfully, beautifully honest and real (the emotions, not the year-long overindulgent whiny travelling) that I cry.  And cry.

... that I feel far superior to some people.  Because I am. :)

BAM.

Squishy Sweet ... or, All Together Now ... Awwwwwww

You're better then the best

I'm lucky just to linger in your light

Cooler than the flip side

Of my pillow, that's right

Completely unaware

Nothing can compare to where

You send me, lets me know that it's okay

Yeah, it's okay

And the moments where my good times start to fade

You make me smile like the sun, fall out of bed

Sing like bird, dizzy in my head

Spin like a record, crazy on a Sunday night

You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breathe

Shine like gold, buzz like a bee

Just the thought of you can drive me wild

Oh, you make me smile

Even when you're gone,

Somehow you come along just like

A flower pokin' through the sidewalk crack

And just like that

You steal away the rain, and just like that

You make me smile like the sun, fall out of bed

Sing like bird, dizzy in my head

Spin like a record, crazy on a Sunday night

You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breathe

Shine like gold, buzz like a bee

Just the thought of you can drive me wild

Oh, you make me smile

Don't know how I lived without you

'Cause every time that I get around you

I see the best of me inside your eyes

You make me smile

You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breathe

Shine like gold, buzz like a bee

Just the thought of you can drive me wild

You make me smile like the sun, fall out of bed

Sing like bird, dizzy in my head

Spin like a record, crazy on a Sunday night

You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breathe

Shine like gold, buzz like a bee

Just the thought of you can drive me wild

Oh, you make me smile.

:)

Playing A Little Catch Up ... or, The One Where I Promise To Be A Better Blogger

Amen.

I've been a little absent lately.  I can't really pinpoint why.  I have a lot to say, I just don't know that I know how to say it.  I've sat down multiple times and pulled up a blank post so I can just say something, but nothing has really hit me.  I'd LIKE to write something ... but nothing could come to me.

I can't decide if I haven't said anything because part of me would have to face the ickiness, or because I've been so horribly busy with work, or just because I haven't had any wordz.  I couldn't tell you.

However, here's what I got.  I've worked like crazy for the past few weeks ... this Wednesday will be the first day I've had off in seventeen days.  I'm making good money, so I shouldn't complain, but I'll tell ya - I'm exhausted.  Last night, I had a guy at the bar who kept proposing to me and calling me a goddess, which would normally be kind of creepy, but he kept throwing cash on the bar, so I didn't really care.  At the end his visit, he had left me $80.  For $80, he can call me whatever the hell he wants.  I told him I was working again today.  Duh.  That's just fiscally responsible.

A 3L bar review is today in about thirty minutes.  I think I'll probably head out to it, even though I've been out of school for four months.  We didn't have one of these when I finished, so I'll go drink a beer on the school :) I've even got my camera battery charging so I can (*gasp*) ... take pictures!!

I've also got graduation coming up, and Memorial Day weekend!!  I'm so excited for both of those ... I ordered my graduation dress from the Blue Door Boutique, and I adore it.

I also bought John and I some amazing koozies from Rowdy Gentleman for Memorial Day.

And last (but certainly not least!!) ...

Barack That Vote ... or, AMEN.

Another Way to Excuse My Unexplainable Absence ... or, It's Okay

It's Okay ...

... that I haven't posted since I went to Vegas. 

((it was aaaaamazing, by the way))

... that I have some important and totally un-Ty things to talk about super soon.  Like, serious and not pretty and pseudo-insightful things that I've been wanting to say for a while.

... that I feel like Lily in the first season of HIMYM when she wants to do grown-up things with Marshall, but then gets bored with wine tastings and Scrabble parties and just chugs beer instead.

... that I had a very rough few days that made me question almost everything, because in the end, I've ended up stronger than ever.

... that I'm obsessed with Tough Love: New Orleans.  Donna is cray.

... that I found out I got a free week of Encore and the Lifetime Movie Network and my DVR is blowing up with random crap like The Beverly Hillbillies movie and everything Tori Spelling has ever done.

... to think that some people are just terrible human beings.

... that I think my boo-boo is better than your boo-boo :)

... that I can't figure out a Bible study or a devotional ... because I know YOU GUYS probably have ideas!

(right?)

The Interwebz Broke My Face ... or, The Day I Found Out I Looked Like Danny Glover

There are a lot of rand-o sites out there that "match up" your picture with a celebrity who is supposed to look like you.  

In my own humble opinion, the interwebz pipe grows an arm and throws a dart at a wall of celebrity pics, and then they say you look like Oscar de la Renta or some other random male sort-of-celeb that you don't at all resemble and then you spend at least thirteen minutes staring into the mirror analyzing eye bags and looking for chin hairs.

But I digress.

Attempt #1:

Time for some real talk.  I despise Kim Kardashian and absolutely everything she stands for.  Like, if she just blew up, I might not be ridiculously upset about it.  However, I still think homegirl pretty, so this one, I was fine with.  I know I don't resemble Winona 'cause she has those tiny little features and I just ... well, I don't.    Gabrielle, though.  Hells yeah.  I'll take it.

Attempt #2:

Now I get a bunch of blondes??  Cate Blanchett, Paris Hilton and her wonky eye, and Philip Seymour Hoffman.  Oh God.  Especially THAT picture of him.  

Me and Phil = BFF twinsies.

Attempt #3:

Are the bags under my eyes that bad that I get Patricia Clarkson??

But there's Gabrielle again.

I like where this might be going.

Attempt #4:

Okay, so let's try a crazy picture.

And now I look like a mix between Princess Di and Danny Glover.

Duh.

**********************

Outside of the interwebz, I used to get a lot of Nicole Richie, but that was when we were both chubby and blonde.  I got a Keira Knightley once, but I'm 94% sure it's because I was wearing a hat.

I think I still call my doppelganger Nicole.

Any other ideas?

All Day Nom Noms ... or, How Fountain Drinks Cure Cancer

Thank y'all so much for your happy, encouraging words.  I've received some not-so-happy words about it*, and yours were just what I needed.  At the end of the day, the test didn't kill me and eat me.  I still have a job, a cute little house, an amazingly wonderful family, a fluffy little dog that follows me around like a damn shadow, and the best boyfriend I could have dreamed of.  With all that, I'm reminded that it IS just a test, and I have plenty of other things to be thankful for :)

Liiiiiike ....

I feel like today could be a for-real national holiday!

Why, you ask?

Because today is all-day Happy Hour at Sonic!!!!!!

In spite of my being sick (I know, right ... leaving for Vegas on Thursday, so OBVS I have to get sick now), this has completely brightened my day!!  Plus, I'm pretty sure it will cure whatever is ailing me.

Go getcha one!

(*analysis on a later date.  maybe tomorrow.)

The Inevitable News That Had to Come Out ... or, Watch Me Blind You With Shiny Things!

True Life: I'm A Bar Failer.

Whew.

That's all the dramatics I got.

I've put it off for long enough, and most of y'all prob figured it out by now.

I don't know, for some reason, I just couldn't manage to write it down.  I could talk about it (sometimes), but I just couldn't seem to blog about it.

So this means I get to take it again in July.  Which sucks.  But it's okay.

I thought it would kill my birthday, but it totally didn't.  

:)

We went down to the lake with John and my family and had the best time. We went to the horse races and sat out on the water and forgot everything that had to do with the law.

Amazing.

Other than that, I've just been working.  

And I went to see my little baby cousin again yesterday, and she absolutely melted me dead.

And as a bonus, I get to go backkkk to Vegas this week with all of these girls!

YAAYYYY!!!!

*************

Go check out Lori's blog for a fantabulous summer giveaway!!

The Moment of Truth ... or, What Happens When Your Future Depends on One Split Second

AMEN.

I'm hours away from being lawyerly or unlawyerly.

If you need to know, check my twits.

If at 4:00 p.m. I don't immediately update, you'll know why.

(Dear God, let me immediately update.)

I'm currently out of bloody mary mix, so I may go straight to vodka and water.

For the record, I'm 95% convinced I'll be taking it again in July.

Que sera sera.